Privacy

You’d think something called the General Data Protection Regulation might actually protect data. You’d be wrong. Along with its elder cousin, the ICCPR, GDPR was hailed as the Great Hope™—a beacon of digital dignity in a world run by surveillance capitalists. But instead of taming the beast, it handed it a clipboard and told it to tick some boxes. The GDPR officially kicked in at the stroke of midnight on 25 May 2018, like some sort of data privacy Cinderella. It was meant to give users the sacred gift of choice—to say yes or no to having their personal lives vacuumed up, analysed, monetised, and passed around like cheap party favours. What we actually got was an avalanche of “consent” banners and passive-aggressive pop-ups saying: “Agree or get lost.” ...

The internet, that magical realm where nothing is free, least of all you. Every click, scroll, and half-hearted Google search fuels an invisible economy built on surveillance capitalism, where your digital footprints are harvested, packaged, and sold to the highest bidder. The Orwellian reality of online tracking George Orwell’s *1984* warned of a world where you could never know if you were being watched. Joke’s on him—today, we know we’re watched constantly, and we still click “Accept All Cookies.” ...

Mobile apps are those delightful little spies we willingly invite into our pockets. Sure, they promise convenience, entertainment, or maybe just a way to kill time, but their real business model? Hoovering up your data like a Roomba on steroids. The Great Permission Heist Terms of Service & Privacy Policies are not agreements—they’re hostage notes written in legalese. The average Privacy Policy is 2,518 words long (because transparency is best served as an unreadable wall of text). Reading all the policies for your installed apps would take 16 hours—or roughly the time it takes to regret your life choices. “Free” apps are the worst offenders. They’re not free—you’re just paying in personal data instead of cash. Pre-installed apps are the ultimate betrayal. Your carrier forces them on you (looking at you, Serbian media apps), and you can’t even delete them. Net neutrality? More like net absurdity. “But why do they need all these permissions?” Great question! Here’s what your apps really do with them: ...

The GDPR—Europe’s magnum opus of regulatory overreach, drafted by people who clearly believe consent forms are the pinnacle of human interaction. Born from the ashes of the 1995 Data Protection Directive (which, admittedly, was about as fit for the digital age as a fax machine), this sweeping reform was supposed to “strengthen privacy rights” and “boost Europe’s digital economy.” Instead, it gifted us with pop-up hell, corporate panic attacks, and a cottage industry of “GDPR consultants” who’ve never met a compliance checkbox they didn’t adore. ...